Dubai Life as I Lived it - Chapter 1

Flying out – First time

I have never ridden a plane nor thought of riding one knowing that this is not for leisure but an adventure that would most likely be permanent.

Thinking about the process made my stomach quiver as I don’t have any idea on how, what, where and so on. All I know was that my mom knows this; my sister had tried this and I have got to calm down.

My flight was 11:55 AM where I would have to “change planes” in Hong Kong International Airport then to Dubai International Airport. I prepared myself by researching on how the airport looks like as I would be moving from one gate to another. To my surprise – HK’s airport was not called an International Airport for nothing. I am now fucked up. It was wide, confusing and more to my surprise – only a 45-minute allowance before my plane to Dubai would fly out.

I panicked but of course, I didn’t show it- why would I? If things will not fall into place, then I would just ring the “HELP” bell (if there is such a thing) and probably get to the nearest Information Counter and ask “How do I get to Mactan International Airport fast?” Saving myself some face by eloquently asking information pretending that I was just that lost.

Oh, wait -  this is my first time riding a plane. HK Airport shouldn’t be my first concern. I am terrified of heights and this should be my priority. Would I make it through the whole flight without freaking out in the thought that anytime, the plane might go down to its terrible demise bringing me to my death? I mean, I know that it’s not just me but still – FLYING + HEIGHTS + ALONE. What did I ever do to have this fate?

As you see – I am freaking out.  And note that I am not yet in the airport while I am thinking about this. Yet, the plans are still final and there is no turning back.

I mean, I could cancel but how would I say it? “I’m sorry but I can’t do it. I’m scared of flying. That’s it.” This would totally be the ultimate gag of the decade.

“To the airport please” I told the taxi driver as I close the car door after my final goodbye to my relatives. My mom and younger sister was with me in the taxi -  bringing a silent sigh of support as the last hours of being together ticked slowly.

Things slowly flashbacked as the taxi speed through the South Super Highway. I thought about my family, friends, relatives, work-mates, the things that I love and myself. What would make of me in doing this at this age? Is it a good plan? Is it worth it? Is this right?

Questions popped up and out from here and there but answers were not available. Unlike in the game shows where there are “Help Lines”, this is a gamble that would either be a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down (or maybe even a hit in the gut).

Then I realized- I am not a gambler. So, this is by far the most extreme life choice I have made.

One final bridge to cross then it’s the airport. My heart increased its rate, I began to sweat and my thoughts were all over the place. I don’t know if I was quiet or was chatty. What I was sure of was that everything was a blur. It’s like when you get much of what Vodka can offer plus the taste of bitter beer in your tongue but the morning after. The blur was like that (well, not technically).

When we got to our stop, some of my relatives were there. Wanting to say their goodbye and to wish me good luck. This was like a scene from a telenovela. Families flocked to the airport to say goodbye and probably see the last of what their loved one would become after working abroad.

I went to the men’s room to wash myself and to be honest, planned to hide the tears that were staring to form in my eyes. The hours slowly ticking as I would be needed to check-in. I was wishing that somehow fate would make me stay and everything would be rethought. Like a scene in the movie where everything stops, rewinds and gets redone in another way. A remix in music; a revival in theatre; an overhaul in cars (you know what I mean).

Then the moment of truth came – I needed to check in. It was a definite punch-in-the-gut moment where all things were slow but fast. I hugged everyone, kissed who I needed to kiss and of course, took deep breathes as my eyes began to water.

It was a “I don’t want to do this but I have to since it’s here” kind of moment. Something I do not want to be in and probably be in again unconsciously in the future. Trust me, we all have this kind of moment where there is no choice but to step forward and suck it all in.

I took my luggage, slowly climbed up the ramp and got in line to get my things checked. Remembering it give me chills and to be honest – got my eyes watery – but just a bit (Yes! I have the same feelings even if it was done a long time ago).

(And yes, I have feelings!)

I don’t remember looking back. I don’t remember waving back at them as my eyes were starting to fail me. I started to well up and soon enough, would break out into an ultimate dramatic scene that would definitely deserve an acting award. The feelings were that intense and I remember vividly, my heart was pounding like I drank 4 cans of Red Bull.

After passing through security check, I didn’t look back as my breathing increased and my heart started to go fast. I can feel my eye began to water and slowly my sight became cloudy. I had to keep it together because I don’t have anyone behind the walls unto the waiting area then the gates. Everything was fast – and I mean everything.