i woke up today feeling extremely ambivalent and all i was thinking of is that "my life sucks". From the moment i thought i have a good social atmosphere, everything falls into pieces like a ceramic tea pot which doesn't actually make a good connection but i thought if putting it in anyway.
Back in high school during my senior year, my classmates connived and placed me in the "funny chair" for weeks. I didn't know it until it was time for our Christmas Party. Up to this day, I still don't know why they did that to me. I know i was sincere and I was true to being friends with them but everything was just a show to them. I really don't think about it much it somehow that certain part of my life is just a gap that connects my childhood and adolescent stage.
Relating to the present, I think I was a victim of bullying. And even if I think I survived it, the gap still is empty. You know that feeling when you think you have matured but you still don't feel like one. I mean, I'm 25 but I still think about kid stuff. I know it's right to get connected with your inner child but i feel helpless.
My friends say that I'm strong and I find it flattering for people to describe me as one. But for me, being strong is a double edged knife: it seems to repel everything. And being strong SUCKS.
When you are strong, people don't get to ask you for things you can't do easily.
When you are strong, you don't please people to the extent that you sacrifice yourself and what you want.
When you are strong, you don't feel pissed off at things that you don't have control in.
When you are strong, you don't feel alone.
When you are strong, you don't smile and feel as if you are not hurt.
When you are strong, you feel nothing will ever bring you down.
When you are strong, you will always follow what your heart and mind tells you.
When you are strong, you will never make blogs like this that spread all the shit you feel inside because it doesn't make sense at all.
It sucks being strong.
Back in high school during my senior year, my classmates connived and placed me in the "funny chair" for weeks. I didn't know it until it was time for our Christmas Party. Up to this day, I still don't know why they did that to me. I know i was sincere and I was true to being friends with them but everything was just a show to them. I really don't think about it much it somehow that certain part of my life is just a gap that connects my childhood and adolescent stage.
Relating to the present, I think I was a victim of bullying. And even if I think I survived it, the gap still is empty. You know that feeling when you think you have matured but you still don't feel like one. I mean, I'm 25 but I still think about kid stuff. I know it's right to get connected with your inner child but i feel helpless.
My friends say that I'm strong and I find it flattering for people to describe me as one. But for me, being strong is a double edged knife: it seems to repel everything. And being strong SUCKS.
When you are strong, people don't get to ask you for things you can't do easily.
When you are strong, you don't please people to the extent that you sacrifice yourself and what you want.
When you are strong, you don't feel pissed off at things that you don't have control in.
When you are strong, you don't feel alone.
When you are strong, you don't smile and feel as if you are not hurt.
When you are strong, you feel nothing will ever bring you down.
When you are strong, you will always follow what your heart and mind tells you.
When you are strong, you will never make blogs like this that spread all the shit you feel inside because it doesn't make sense at all.
It sucks being strong.
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