Thursday, June 15, 2017

How am I doing by 2017?

It has been an excuse that "it has been a long time since I wrote something" and this is BS. 

What have I been doing with my life? Am I still the same?

Since moving to another field of work, things have been different. I'm always a ticking bomb and seldom I would keep my cool. I don't know but maybe this is just "Frustration" to do something I wanna do but can't somehow do it.

I have been blessed in having friends that keep me grounded but somehow, these people are not around me. I used to laugh things off like everything will be fine at the end of the day. Now, that light of positivity somehow is just a flickering spark in me. It saves me - but most of the time, gets me too stressed to take a walk outside. 

Somehow I became the obnoxious, impatient, mean and severely blunt man that I wasn't. Or was I already this but was hiding it?

Someone said I was kind and she can see it in my eyes. Can someone look at me and say the same? I am like a lost gust of wind. I feel that I do not belong and somehow, just waiting for the next strong wind to blow me to another direction. 

Its the middle of 2017 and I'm still blind on a lot of things. 

How am I doing so far? -  well lets just say that I'm f*$%ed-up. 


Is this the end?

Ive always dreamt to have someone who is proud of me; who understands why i am like this; a person that brings the best in me and accepts ...