six years of happy marriage.
six years of immeasurable happiness and contentment.
everyday, i had to wake up beside the woman i love and get to be the first one to say "i love you" for the day. two thousand one hundred ninety days of constant kisses, hugs and never ending "i love yous". fifty two thousand five hundred sixty hours of wearing the golden ring and smiling as i remember my wedding day.
our wedding day.
we were envied by many because of what the two of us had. it was more than what i expected. more than what i prayed for. we completed each other. we made each other happy. we were husband and wife. six dinners by the sea and under the moonlight. six nights of special caresses and boundless love for each other.six special nights of smiles and laughter.
i could still remember the night i asked her hand in marriage. it was our third year anniversary as girlfriend and boyfriend. i knew that "that" night was the night to seal it. the night she wanted and waited for in her life: my proposal. her saying "yes!" to my question "will you marry me?".
she was working in a call center for five years as a supervisor. and i was a consultant on management and finance of a certain bank. we have nice jobs and bright tomorrows. but i had to ask her if she would be willing to share these tomorrows with me. and i had to get a lot of help from certain people we both know.
she was on duty that night. we had to celebrate our anniversary a week after the date. but that didn't stop me in sticking with my plan. i had to convince the site director, her team mates, the security and the rest of the "on-duty" team to connive with me. they were more than happy and excited to help me with the proposal. the company's site director even offered the employees' lounging room for my use. the security made a notice that the lounging room was off limits due to some electrical problems and floor tile renovations. the agents had to do anything to keep her busy and preoccupied.
then everything was ready.
her site director called her for a short meeting. she made fake issues that needed to be addressed. she then told her to check the lounging room for additional furniture and appliance. a good employee was she, directly to the room she went.
while waiting for her to open the door,i was pacing back and fourth behind a certain wall. i was cold. maybe i was excited or probably nervous. i was really nervous. then i heard a knock. i turned the lights off and went to my spot.
she knocked again and slowly opened the door. she saw nothing but darkness. so she had to go inside to turn the lights on.
she didn't move as the lights went on. her face was painted with surprise and amusement. there were no flowers nor romantic music.instead,i scattered pictures on the floor. our pictures. thousands of pictures and sweet notes she has given me for the past three years. then on one corner of the room was a mannequin wearing a Vera Wang gown. i placed a note on top saying "it would be perfect if you were wearing this on our wedding day." tears were slowly pooling in her eyes as she moved closer to the mannequin. i walked out from being hidden behind the wall with a bouquet of white and yellow lilies. she smiled, blushed and gave me a kiss as i handed her the flowers. she hugged me tightly and tears fell on my shoulders. she said that she couldn't be more happier that night.
i stepped back, knelt down and took a small box out of my pocket. her eyes were round with surprise and she was blushing even more. i opened the box and showed her a ring. before i could say anything, we could hear howling and cheering from the other side of the room. i forgot about the security camera inside the room. they were watching my proposal from a monitor in the next room.
the i started my lines,
"you reminded me of how wonderful life is. and it was more than a blessing to be alive for someone. you have saved me from turning into monster boss. you have inspired me to be a better brother and the best son. you have brought out the best in me and was still there at my worst times. you made me smile always with your youthful and sparky character. you have accepted me for being human. and loved me entirely as your boyfriend".
"i want to wake up in the morning with you beside me everyday. i want to have and grow my children with you as their mother. i want to grow old with you and would surely die without you...
Natesha, will you marry me?".
silence was what i felt for five seconds. it was the longest five seconds of my life.
she knelt down, hugged me, crying with joy as she said "yes! i will marry you!". her response was like music to my ears. it was euphoric, elating. i was floating. honestly, i was really floating.
the cheering and howling went louder and closer the the door opened. her team mates were in tears as they walked inside the room as well as her site director. i felt love and acceptance fro the group. it gave me more spirit to be the best husband for her.
remembering that night always puts a smile on my face. from that time on, it was a whirlwind. everything went through so fast. the wedding was perfect, we shared our vows and we were a happy couple. for the past six years, happiness embraced the both of us.most of the time, i always find myself smiling as i look back. i just couldn't believe the years of being together. the years of cheesy moments and life-changing encounters. the happy six years.
a cold drop of tear rolled from my cheek and woke myself sitting on a chair with a letter on my hand. it was already midnight and the television set was still on.
i crouched down and the letter dropped on the floor. i was consumed by sadness and questions. asking for someone to save me from such a miserable feeling. i wanted to shout but not a sound could go out of my mouth. i can hardly move and felt as if i was anesthetized to be still and numb.
the letter opened on the floor saying,
"dear Ryan,
i always dreamed to be a princess since i was a little. and you have fulfilled my wish for a prince to wed me and live happily ever after. you have carved me into a strong and happy woman. you have lived your life with me and i am but happy for being part of you. you have been a courageous prince who would rescue me from a dragon. you have given me real jewels and a castle where both of us can live happily. you have saved me from eternal sleep with a kiss. i love you.
but somehow, i woke up and realized that im not a child anymore. i am lost. and i need to find myself before i could kiss you again. im sorry if it will cause you pain.
i love you.
i am sorry.
-Natesha"
i forgot that i wasn't a good drinker. and i found myself drenched with my own doing from being drunk in our living room.
i was numb.
i was cold.
i was alone.
the unexpected monster took my happy ending from my hand.
i cried.
i was alone.
broken.
keeping it inside.
