I am a type of person that is always preoccupied. Even before, I always have a lot of things in my mind. I guess my personality would push to me think about many things all at the same time. I believe that I am a creative person and I guess this is one of the reasons why I always think about things. Back then, I would think about the weekend, the dance class and work. I also think about what to have for dinner, what to buy for myself, what to do with my friends and what to do the day after; to wake up early to have my morning walk, to bring a water bottle or not. I am mentally busy. I don't know if it is healthy but it made me busy yet satisfied.
This satisfaction I have makes me feel productive and happy. From all of the thinking, it makes me happy if all the things I thought of would be done either on time or in time. It really didn't matter to me if they were done soon or not as long as they were done the same way I thought about them.
When I came here, writing became my voice; social network became my eyes and ears. I have friends. They are only few but I trust them. You see, the thinking habit for me is still there but it became hard for me to sort things out in priority. Before, everything was in equal priority and nothing was stressful. Suddenly, everything became the opposite.
As a struggling young professional, life seems to be very pushy and complicated. To add to that, life overseas is a test on a daily basis. You would never say that each day is the same. What's ironic is, that life is following the same pattern. It's confusing (I know) but this is how I look at things at the moment. I am following the same pattern everyday but it's not the same. Such a paradox but this is life. We can never get away from it unless we end it.
I always think about my friends. Aside from my family who have been always there, my crazy friends are never out of the scene. Of course they have lives to live but amazingly, they never seem to forget me. I am very thankful for them and for all the prayers that people would say for me.
Social media has been a great help. They let me catch up with my friends, both old and new. I never thought that I would get so addicted to them but it seems to fill in the empty spaces I have inside. I laugh, smile, cry and feel the same way I feel with social media. It inspires me to be the new me every day; strong, positive, smiling, loved and blessed.
I have not been listening to myself lately and I guess now is the best time to do so. I am very blessed and I know that a lot more are on their way. I just need to focus and think about these blessings instead of thinking about what problems I will have to face. "Will have to face" is such an understatement but I am very conscious about it. (Crazy, right?) Now, I just need to focus and know that I am blessed.
I miss a lot of things. I miss a lot of faces and places. I miss the happy preoccupied me. Yet, it stirs me up to see the new things I have in life and the old but permanent ones. I am just homesick. I guess everybody is.
Looking back, I still have the same way of thinking. What I just need to focus on are the good things that are happening to me. I am very blessed and I should root from this.
My Prayer:
"Thank you Lord for all the blessings that you have given me. You have been very generous to me even though I whine and complain a lot.
I am very thankful for the protection, guidance and encouragement you have blessed me through the people you bring into my life. Help me Lord, to focus on the things that would make me remember that I am blessed. Guide me to root from all the great things you have for me. Make me do wonderful things as you have for me. Lord, I am also asking for your protection in which I know you have done since before.
Lastly, I apologize for the times that I forget your presence; that I take your blessings for granted. Let me be inspired to do what is right for my sake and for your glory. Forgive me for the times that I sin and give me strength to stay away from them.
Amen."
